Boy, is it hard to believe that I've been exploring and experimenting with Jesmonite for a whole year now! I've been spending the past few weeks looking back on my journey, documenting my progress, and honestly, just appreciating how far I've really come.
As someone who is incredibly self-deprecating and self-punishing, I spend a lot of my time talking negatively about myself or the pieces I produce. I imagine that's quite an upsetting sentence to read and typing it out makes me realise just how unfair to myself I can be. This is why this time of reflection has felt so liberating and healthy for me. I want to alter that negative mindset and negative self-talk.
Yes, I certainly do kick myself when I fail; when I can't exactly reproduce a colour; when I get air bubbles; when a piece doesn't look exactly as I expected. I really want to reframe that mindset. Instead of thinking of these elements as failures, think of them as challenges, ways to develop and improve. My journey is only really just beginning and I really ought to stop focusing so much negative energy into such trivial things and start celebrating the victories I've made.
As long as you're learning, you're not failing - Bob Ross
That's an excellent way to reframe 'failures'. Every time something goes wrong, I learn. I learn what doesn't work, what not to do. Failure is a very useful teacher.
It's taken a lot of practice, research and trial and error but I've noticed, in the past few months, I've really started to master the more practical elements of working with Jesmonite. I know how to mix now, what ratios of base : terrazzo I like to work with, how to produce both saturated and pastel colours, how to build my own silicone moulds. These essential skills are a real blocker when it comes to learning a new skill. How could one possibly think about colour palettes when they can't even understand how to mix specific colours in the first place?
As these technical blockers have began to elevate, I've really started to think about colours and shapes more. I feel like I'm now becoming a true artist. Instead of studying how to do something, I'm now thinking about what I want. What do I want to make? What colours do I want to explore? What shapes am I interested in? I've stopped thinking about the practical building elements and started focusing on my own creative fulfilment.
It's a really liberating feeling not to be concerned with the practicalities of a task and instead focus on the creative design elements.
The only question now is, where next?
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